Titus 2 King James Version (KJV)
2 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:
2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
I am not going to lie, this world is scaring me. To me, we have become Sodom and Gomorrah-and we all know how that ended. If you are unsure what I mean and don't have your Bible handy, just read the Wikipedia definition for simplicity sake.
Being a rule girl, I like having an absolute truth, which to me is the Bible. That being said, I have always had an "unworldly" view of what a woman should be, more than likely instilled in me by my mother, as well as my grandma and mamaw and other women in the church I was raised in. Yes, I have veered from the path many a time for my own personal satisfaction, one of the millions of mistakes that I have made, a virtual see-saw of decisions.
Hold on!! My soapbox is set up and sturdy! Ready? Go!
For me, the unworldly view is staying at home and taking care of all persons, things and animals in it. Whether you are newly married with no kids, a mother with 10 kids, or an older women who never had children, widows with no means. I understand that today's culture says that is ancient thinking and nobody can afford it and what about women's right. I get it, I do. But then, in my deepest heart, I think a majority of the problems in our country is due to working women. Single moms HAVE to work. Why? Because we as women have not done our part on choosing well. It is our fault. Did we wait until we are married to the right man that God has given us to "help" before putting our worldly lusts first? All the diseases associated with stress. We are trying to "keep up with Mr. Jones" in the business world, do a man's job and still have the woman's job at home too, causing ourselves to have heart attacks, strokes, diabetes (because do we have time to cook 21 nutritious meals a week?), autoimmune, etc. just to mention a few. Yes, I strongly believe that this has to do with man-made chemicals, gmo, etc., but what foods are these mostly in? Those quick meals that women have demanded because they are tired from working 40+ hours a week. If we all cooked like Julia Child and grew our own food, this might not be such a big issue either (then again, greed is hard to quantify). What other arguments do we tell ourselves about why we have to work? Self satisfaction. What about me? My wants, my needs? I loved bringing home a paycheck. At one point mine was bigger than his. How did that affect my attitude toward my husband deep down? Was I proud of him? Did I resent him at all when I still had to bring home supper, cause I rarely cooked? I am going to blow your mind here. One of the most relaxing and satisfying things to me is...ironing. I love watching the wrinkles disappear and leaving behind this perfectly straight, warm piece of cloth hanging or folded delicately in the drawer. Is that God's plan? To instill these simple but beautiful joys in housework. How about the floor after a good mopping, or the shower fresh after a good scrubbing. And even though I dislike dishes, I am not going to lie that putting a sparkling clean glass up in the cabinet elicits a slight spark in my soul. And of course, how can we afford it? Priorities play a HUGE role in this. And we all have different priorities. We have survived with one vehicle for 6 months now. There are ups and downs for sure, but it can be done. (Admittedly, my son has his own and can do a few errands for us if need be, but we all family and friends that could help us with such in emergencies too, don't we. If we don't, then we are working way too much!). Being at home has saved us in a few areas. Eating out versus cooking from scratch has to be number one. I have been able to focus more on every penny that comes in and goes out. This has allowed us to refinance our car , cutting the payment over half. We don't need our cell phones and it's outrageously expensive plan anymore. I don't have to buy more socks every months because I can't find the matches that have ended up under the bed or behind the dryer or wherever they seem to go. I hang out clothes, hand wash dishes, keep the electricity down until hubby gets home then the air or heat comes on and the TV, etc. It can be done. And actually, even though it is more work, it can be a fun game to be as creative as possible to find ways to save money. Our working agreement is he brings it home and I do my best to stretch it. That's my story and I am sticking to it.
*Stepping down*
Now that I am older, and although not an empty-nester per se as I have a 21 year old son still at home and a daughter who graduated high school this year getting ready to embark on her college life, I still feel a change in this stage of my life. Having made the decision to throw my hands in the air and become the full-time homesteading housewife, I am learning new skills, both of a technical kind, as well as of a character kind. Today I am talking about character.
We have all heard of the Proverbs 31 woman, that woman described by a mother to her son to help him find the right kind of woman. No pressure there! For now, I am focusing on a shorter more doable list at this time-Titus 2:3-5.
Above is the KJV text. There are several other "versions" to help us in modern terms, but I still think this version is pretty plain.
v.3 As an older woman, our behavior should be leaning toward holiness, reverence or quiet respect. For what or whom? Everything. First and foremost, the Lord. Then our husbands. And everything else that is good that God has made. How do we do that? Everyone will have their own "sin" that stands out. The first thing that popped in my mind was with respect to my husband. Not just as in verse 5 about being obedient, but in true respect as in not whining to my mom about his shortcomings as I see them, not telling friends about the "funny" things that he does that are not flattering to his character. As a wife, I should only say things to build him up. To me, being a slightly sarcastic person, this does not come easy. I might have to buy journals and write down my snide remarks and then burn them afterwards. No, no, that is still disobeying isn't it. Yep, going to take some practice. I am sure there are more things for me to learn on this single point of behaving, but I will start with that one.
False accuser. Lying, right? Seems simple. Is that not one of the 10 commandments? But I think there is more to it than falsely accusing someone whether it be a crime by law, in the workplace (I guess that means I can't blame the cat anymore for spilling milk in the floor), or even in things as simple as telling someone they look good in pink, which they oh, so don't. If we maintain our honesty, as in the last case, I guess a person will either come to value your truth, or avoid asking you any more opinions. What little lies do you tell at home? at work? at church ??
Next! Wine? The Bible mentions drinking right up there with lying. Wow. In the past, when I could afford it, I enjoyed a margarita at the Mexican restaurant or steakhouse or McDonalds. Kidding, see that sarcasm gets me. It is true, it has lost some of its "fun" qualities, but makes a great sleep aid. So, this one is pretty self explanatory and easy enough to follow, even with a lot of German, Irish and Scottish heritage.
Teachers of good things. What does this mean? Any ideas? Is this in regard to teaching the next generation? If so, I would think this means teach your daughters, your daughter's friends or anyone that God chooses to put in your path in regard to what we have learned about being a good wife and or mother from our mothers and grandmothers. This can be anything from grandma's meatloaf recipe to putting our husbands first to how to fold a fitted sheet. And this could also be just as a role model in how we behave or handle situations at home and in public and make sure they are consistent. Have you ever reacted differently in front of company than you would if it was just you and your husband at home? Okay, now I just scared myself. There are some reactions to a "bad day" that I don't want anyone to see, I don't even want to rethink them! Another conscious effort to made in this one too.
That is enough to dwell on for awhile. I believe I need to keep a study journal and really pray just on these first four characteristics. This might take a while...
