Will We Ever Reach Our Goals?

I have wasted paper, time, markers, and even napkins writing down goals and plans and aspirations.  Most of them were duplicates, but sometimes the order was different, depending on my mood, money and how detail-oriented I wanted to be.   There are books, seminars, classes and psychics to help us figure out "our path."  Well, what if I don't want to buy books, go to seminars, take classes or be scrutinized by psychics?  As a God-fearing woman, prayer has worked to show me the goal, but still I have been left to follow my own path to get there.  As Joyce Meyer puts it 'You must do what you can do, and then trust God to do what you can't.'

I am not going to lie, no matter how cliché it sounds.  The weeks before turning 40, a small portion of my mind was slowly tweaking.  It was reminding me over and over, life is short and anything you really want to do-DO, not plan.  Yes, there are things that need to be planned and steps to be taken, but as I 'mature', I find that it is more about do.  Some people learn this early in life-even my son seems to have a grasp on that concept.  I am getting there...slowly.

I think it is safe to say that anyone who has read anything I have written knows making my homestead not only sustainable, but beautiful is my ultimate goal.  You know that I have a full-time job and are in the beginning stages of weaning off my paycheck and living off of my husband's.  I know in my head that this homestead will not prosper while I work, and this does break my heart.  I cannot work full-time and run a greenhouse and raise goats and all of the many things I want to do. 


photo by Sauli Hirvi

I am a "jump in with both feet" kind of girl, but then I jump right back out if the water is too cold.  So, with this new found maturity *cough, cough*, I am wading in slowly, yes, feeling that stinging cold working its way from my toes to my ankles to my shins.  But you know what?  As the shins are feeling it, the toes are more comfortable and getting used to the coldness.  Hmmm?  So maybe it is best that ease into this "sustainable" part of my homestead dream. 
There are many women who work AND make soap or knit/sew or garden (still not sure about the commercial-size greenhouse) or raise chickens.  Just because I can't do it to the extent I want right now...

My goal list is now more about do, such as learning to perfect soaps, jelly and homemade laundry detergent, integrated with to have, such as an auger and wood chipper and good kitchen knives.  I can do these simultaneously.  I can buy an auger the same week I make homemade jelly, can't I?

That being said, I am going to make sacrifices over the next few weeks to months to get the transition in full swing.   I am starting to think there is a fine art to making a budget work with one income while allocating the other to cover savings, homestead improvements and investments, as well as covering those short months, all the while not slipping back into "work mode" where I can stop at the downstairs Starbucks when I feel that 2:30 lull or not brown bag it because I can swipe my badge and have it taken out automatically and of course pick up "fast food" whether at a restaurant or the deli or freezer section at the supermarket on the way home because I am too tired to cook.  I had better learn that sacrifice will be needed even when I am home full time.  I may be too tired or sick to milk the goats one morning, but guess what?  It has to be done.  Therefore, let's get used to it NOW!

(You can check out the Christmas Penny for some low points of the weeks budget!)